Today somebody said to me that they have depression but they don’t know if it’ll get better and I honestly didn’t have an idea how to answer this shortly.
*DISCLAIMER: I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety but I will never be able to give you the same help a professional will and if your genuinely concerned you should 100% see a doctor*
That being said to start, I want to share my experience.
When I was in 6th grade I started feeling very stressed and overwhelmed with everything going on in my life. I had always kept a model students grades, I was playing A team netball in my age group, I rode horses all while trying to impress my teachers and peers because I was CONVINCED being a prefect in 7th grade was the most important thing under the sun. Fast forward to a year later, I had gotten the prefect position and I was so concerned with getting that position I never once realized how draining it would be. All the gate duties, passage duties, breaking up fights, keeping kids quiet and even working at school events would take so much of my passion for doing things for people and attending functions that this job that once sounded really fun and rewarding had become a chore and an overall terrible thing for my mental health. By the second term of seventh grade, I had developed a pretty bad self-harming habit along, terrible anxiety and what I didn’t know at the time, depression, and I had started to feel so lost and out of place in a school that I once called home, I stopped being able to get homework done and study for tests because of how drained I was, this led to getting homework done while a teacher was collecting and cramming in all my studies the morning before a test or exam and it was hard and stressful. I remember getting told off because I wanted my boyfriend or best friend to sit with me while I did passage duties because they were the only ones who knew how to keep me calm when I started getting anxious or started having an attack but all that would result in would be a scolding from the teacher that was in charge of the prefects. I was never brave enough to explain this to them in fear that it would become public news which I now wish I did. A term into 7th grade I got a new teacher as my previous one moved and little did I know that this woman would save my life. She became my school mommy, someone I could share anything with, someone I could tell everything with complete confidence that she wouldn’t break my trust, I texted her on her birthday and shared memes when I saw one that reminded me of her and she was the only one in that school that knew about everything that happened and she couldn’t have been more supportive or do anything more right. I appreciate her more than words, even now that I’ve left that school as we still keep in contact. A few months later I had gone to high-school and this was a terrible decision on my part. I always wondered if I’d be better off home-schooled but never had the guts to say anything. I had also gone to the doctor and been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and before I knew it I was taking anti-depressants. I had never been a popular girl at school but nothing could’ve prepared me for what I faced at high school. I was never super comfortable in my skin and I got comments like “go eat a burger” or “or “you sure you should eat that” when just drinking a coke or eating some crisps. I didn’t make it through a term at high school when I started homeschooling. Since then my mental health has been better but will never be perfect.
To all my babies who are struggling, who don’t know where they belong, who are lonely, or just in need of someone I want you to know that there is ALWAYS someone here, someone that cares and someone that loves you. I know There’s nothing I could say to take away your pain, but I can tell you that although things will never be perfect they will always get better and you’re an unstoppable force that can overcome anything that the universe throws at you.
Just in case nobody has told you today: your beautiful, I love you and this world is lucky to have you in it! 🙂
DM me at any time you need anything, they are always open.
sending love <3